There Are No Knitting Police

Welcome Sisters and Brethren! I am sitting down to my knitting circle again today with more that just knitting, won’t you join me?

I wrote last time about knitting anxiety and the pressures that I put on myself (as all of us do) to be as productive as possible. I’m still not sure what drives me to make lists of the crafty things I “need to get done,” and I have yet to master reminding myself that it is for joy that I engage in crafts. However, I did recently give myself some breathing room to work on some things that were not part of my silly list. Because, as a number of knitters have said to me before, “There are no knitting police.”

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I do love a good hand embroidered tea towel!

Bearing in mind that no knitting authorities are coming to check up on my progress, critique my technique or point out my mistakes, I got out an entirely different craft: embroidery. I do love embroidery, cross stitch and needle point crafts. When I sit with my cup of coffee and serenely stitch a cute little adornment onto a tea towel, a magical thing happens: I become my Grandma.

My inner child drifts out of my body and watches me. She remembers the smell of early morning coffee at Grandma’s farmhouse; the crisp cool of the large, drafty living room; the table full of thread, needles, beads and all manner of crafting tools; the enormous picture window looking out onto a frosty field where Grandpa’s horses are grazing. In these private, sentimental moments I remember the joy that I am meant to feel when I engage in making. I reconnect to a simpler, happier me.

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I didn’t have Grandma’s ribbon candies, so mints will have to do. 

There are no knitting police, we only police ourselves. Making lists of To Do’s in my crafts is not a bad thing necessarily, but we all need to find that balance between practicality and bliss. My stash of supplies and tools may seem a mountain and my list of planned projects endless, but the end results (useful tho they are) cannot be the only reason I push myself to craft. I need to enjoy the process. Allow myself to recall how what I make today is not just useful tomorrow, but brings me closer to yesterdays that I cherish and should not overlook.

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Dog Mom’s coffee never quite smells like Grandma’s coffee somehow. 

So yes, I have lost track of where I “should be” in my list of things to craft and make. Yes, I am hopping between crafts. Yes, I have cast on socks before I have finished other projects – and, yes, with yarn I had intended to use for other things! But there are no knitting police, and today I am going to allow myself to be OFF DUTY. My knitting and crafting is a mental vacation. A brief stay in a place of peace, with a few sentimental day dreams of memories past. I will not arrest myself for low productivity and I will not sit in a prison of my own making. Not today, anyway.

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The dogs pulled this yarn off the shelf, so I cast it on. 

I am wishing you all a happy, chaotic and blissful Sunday! I love and appreciate all of you who are joining my little crafty coven!

Until next time, Sisters and Brethren, I am with you.

Knitting Anxiety: Why Do I Create It?

Hello Sisters and Brethren!

*Warning – I curse sometimes*

This weekend I have finally gotten some knitting done! For those who know me well, it would come as a surprise to find that I have gotten very little knitting in during the last two weeks. My normal modus operandi is to knit for a couple of hours every day, but truthfully for the last few months I have been struggling to get time in for my beloved hobby.

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Four at a time socks that I had to separate to get off the needles. 

I do have a part time job that I started in May, which has significantly cut in to my creative life. This frustrates me, but sadly income is necessary for all of us, and I have not yet made my knitting and yarny joy into a day job (still trying, tho!). Honestly, the job shouldn’t deter my knitting terribly, but because my time is now limited differently, I find I am creating my own knitting anxiety.

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Cauldron Bubble – new colorway that took me full a week to add to the shop after dyeing. 

 

True confession, I have some general anxiety and depression issues (self-diagnosed as I am too embarrassed to bring it up to a doctor as of yet). So it’s not entirely unusual for me to over think and over stress even the simplest of things. Where my knitting, yarn dyeing, designing and even blogging is concerned, I have a bad habit of giving myself arbitrary and unreasonable deadlines for completing projects. When I do not meet those deadlines or complete ‘enough’ projects, posts or new products in a given time period, I begin to feel very lazy, useless and bitterly bummed out.

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I finished a pair socks, finally! Yay!

I can’t quite say why I do this. I did grow up in small town (population 1,100 small) South Dakota in a stereo-typical hard work ethic valuing environment. Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe hard work can be a good thing and having goals and ambition can be beneficial. However, where I come from, creative endeavors are often meant for retirees or people considered to be hapless and burdensome. Practicality was always king and the idea of even having an artistic dream, let alone following one, was an aberration.

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Double Double Mini Kits – why do I think I need to be ready for Halloween already?

While how I grew up may be a factor in why I create stress in a hobby that should be a stress reliever, I’m not sure its the whole story. I am 31, and I feel somewhat that I need to take accountability for…well, for my own bullshit. My rational mind is aware that I am my own enemy when it comes to my anxiety. I choose what my self worth is measured by, so I do not need to measure myself by how much of my hobby I complete. Yet, continuously, I get angry with myself for not getting more done.

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House on the Hill – new colorway, and my dream house. 

I don’t have a happy ending answer for why I stress myself out. I am still working through why I become so anxious about things that should only be happy, and how to stop myself from doing it. But I wrote this blog post as I believe I cannot be the only knitter or crafter out there who struggles with this. Maybe we’re just struggling with anxiety in general, maybe life is a bit overwhelming sometimes and it just permeates every part of us and all that we do.

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Phantasm – a creation of the mind, much like my anxiety. 

Whatever the case, I think we all need to remember to forgive ourselves for what we perceive to be our short comings or failings. Knitting is meant to be my joy, my me time, my creative outlet and in some ways my self love. I am still working on just getting out of my own way and letting go of the need to measure my accomplishments or success as though it makes up who I am. It does not. So if you’re anxious about the things that are supposed to make you happy, you are not alone. And at least that’s something.

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Krypt Kicker – let’s all put our stress in a crypt and kick it!

Thanks for getting real with me for a while. Next time, I may have a happier post, or I may not. But I’m going to try and just be proud of myself that I did post, and not tell myself that I have a deadline for the next one.

May your knitting and hobbies feel magical and cure you of your ills! And when they don’t, forgive yourself. It’s ok.

Until next time Sisters and Brethren in yarn!

 

 

Happy Friday the 13th!

Hello Fiber Friends!

You may or may not have noticed – there’s a new look, a new logo and a new name! I have rebranded to Sisteresque Fibers!

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No need for you to change the blog you follow, the Instagram or twitter, not even my Etsy shop. I have updated it all to reflect the new branding.

Change is good! As I am working on self love, self acceptance and just being more me, I needed a change to my business that would better reflect my particular interests. I love the occult, the creepy and the weird and I always have! In fact, some of you may have noticed, I also have brand new audio podcast with my sister called Sisteresque (like how I keep it in the family?) which you can find at www.sisteresque.com as well as on Stitcher, Itunes, and hopefully soon Spotify and Google Play!

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A Coven Wedding – you’re all invited! One of my new colorways for the new brand!

I hope this new brand will help me to have a more specific focus and that you, my yarniac followers, will grow and explore the mystical, the magical and the self with me.  If I can teach myself the website ropes a bit more, I hope to move my shop here to my website rather than Etsy, but baby steps. Part of my self love and self acceptance is knowing I can’t do it all at once.

Also, I’m pretty proud of my logo. I went ahead and figured out how to make one myself! Its a simple and a bit slap dash, but I love it for that.

Thank you all for checking out my site and for your continued support! Every like, every comment, every follow and yes, every purchase from my shop, gives me a boost in more ways than I can tell you. I love you all!

Happy Friday the 13th!

I’m with you Sisters and Brethren 🙂

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