Scattered WIPs, Scatter Brained

Long time, no blog post! Hello again Fiber Friends!

Its been a while. Truthfully, I’m going through some big life changes and as a result I have relocated back to South Dakota to be close to family for a while. I am stressed, anxious and desperately trying to figure out a job – sadly my creative life is not yet in position to be my day job, though that is always the ultimate goal.

Still, I am working at slowly at my many WIPs.

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Bag from KnitForBrains on Etsy, Pumpkin needle keeper from MollyKleinDesigns on Etsy.

These are just a few of the socks I have that I told myself I would have ready for the cooler weather. I may have to push that back to ready for the snow, but even that may be a bit of a stretch. I started these while still in North Carolina, and when I bid farewell to my Podcast friend Barb of Super Stitchy, she gave me the sweet little beaded witch stitch marker she made herself. So if it does take me longer to finish these, at least I have a fun reminder of a fiber friend.

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My fun little witch marker from Super Stitchy and my MollyKleinDesigns needle keeper. Madeline Tosh yarn.

I had also told myself I would have a sweater done for the fall by now, but naturally, my latest sweater is not yet completed. Just about done with one sleeve and one left to go.

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My own hand dyed yarn in The Evil Eye (purple) and The Poison You Picked (green). Bag by HappyUnicornStudio on Etsy.

I’m loving my new Dense DK base, I have a loose gauge so the more densely spun yarn won’t grow as much as my Plump DK base. I started this in NC as well, and between settling into a new space and the emotions that come with not knowing what my life is right now have slowed me down. I did finish the body while waiting for my baby Jack Russell, Lucy, to come back from teeth extractions at the vet. However, stress knitting, while useful for keeping me from biting my nails and clenching my teeth, is still not my ideal knitting.

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Bag by TwistedYarnAndFiberBags on Etsy and Malabrigo Rios Yarn.

Stress aside, I am happy to be closer to family, and happy for the cooler knitting weather in South Dakota. Knitting out of necessity gives me unique pleasure. I suppose my productivity anxiety is quelled a bit by the idea of knitting practical items for myself that I know will go to good use, and soon. I started myself a hat in the Acres Wild pattern by Kniting Pirate on Ravelry. I’m using Malabrigo Rios yarn and toting it in a phantasmically perfect bag from Twisted Yarn and Fiber Bags on Etsy. We have one week of temporary warm temperatures coming and then October will be in full cool swing, and I will definitely be wearing this hat.

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My WIPs, my mind and my writing are all a bit scattered, and I would apologize, but that just where I am right now. I am continuing to put my best effort into my Sisteresque Fibers Etsy shop, I have added Pre-Order or Dye to Order yarn in hopes of more sales with less unsold inventory about. I have intentions of creating some colorwork hat patterns and a few cross stitch patterns. I only hope my job search and possible job find won’t interrupt my creativity too much, as it is a large part of what is currently holding my sanity together. Tho, sadly, it doesn’t pay for health insurance. Sigh.

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I will end on a lighter note and say that I am grateful to the fiber and crafting community for providing a place to go during the worst of times. Everyone is so supportive and happy to share times in their lives that have been rough – and how the made it thru to the other side. To everyone who reads my blog, supports my content, my shop and my fibery pipe dream, I love you all! I wish you all the most magical fall knitting and I hope your October is full of treats, yarn and many Halloween movies!

Until next circle, Sisters and Brethren,

Love from Haleigh

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Knitting Anxiety: Why Do I Create It?

Hello Sisters and Brethren!

*Warning – I curse sometimes*

This weekend I have finally gotten some knitting done! For those who know me well, it would come as a surprise to find that I have gotten very little knitting in during the last two weeks. My normal modus operandi is to knit for a couple of hours every day, but truthfully for the last few months I have been struggling to get time in for my beloved hobby.

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Four at a time socks that I had to separate to get off the needles. 

I do have a part time job that I started in May, which has significantly cut in to my creative life. This frustrates me, but sadly income is necessary for all of us, and I have not yet made my knitting and yarny joy into a day job (still trying, tho!). Honestly, the job shouldn’t deter my knitting terribly, but because my time is now limited differently, I find I am creating my own knitting anxiety.

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Cauldron Bubble – new colorway that took me full a week to add to the shop after dyeing. 

 

True confession, I have some general anxiety and depression issues (self-diagnosed as I am too embarrassed to bring it up to a doctor as of yet). So it’s not entirely unusual for me to over think and over stress even the simplest of things. Where my knitting, yarn dyeing, designing and even blogging is concerned, I have a bad habit of giving myself arbitrary and unreasonable deadlines for completing projects. When I do not meet those deadlines or complete ‘enough’ projects, posts or new products in a given time period, I begin to feel very lazy, useless and bitterly bummed out.

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I finished a pair socks, finally! Yay!

I can’t quite say why I do this. I did grow up in small town (population 1,100 small) South Dakota in a stereo-typical hard work ethic valuing environment. Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe hard work can be a good thing and having goals and ambition can be beneficial. However, where I come from, creative endeavors are often meant for retirees or people considered to be hapless and burdensome. Practicality was always king and the idea of even having an artistic dream, let alone following one, was an aberration.

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Double Double Mini Kits – why do I think I need to be ready for Halloween already?

While how I grew up may be a factor in why I create stress in a hobby that should be a stress reliever, I’m not sure its the whole story. I am 31, and I feel somewhat that I need to take accountability for…well, for my own bullshit. My rational mind is aware that I am my own enemy when it comes to my anxiety. I choose what my self worth is measured by, so I do not need to measure myself by how much of my hobby I complete. Yet, continuously, I get angry with myself for not getting more done.

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House on the Hill – new colorway, and my dream house. 

I don’t have a happy ending answer for why I stress myself out. I am still working through why I become so anxious about things that should only be happy, and how to stop myself from doing it. But I wrote this blog post as I believe I cannot be the only knitter or crafter out there who struggles with this. Maybe we’re just struggling with anxiety in general, maybe life is a bit overwhelming sometimes and it just permeates every part of us and all that we do.

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Phantasm – a creation of the mind, much like my anxiety. 

Whatever the case, I think we all need to remember to forgive ourselves for what we perceive to be our short comings or failings. Knitting is meant to be my joy, my me time, my creative outlet and in some ways my self love. I am still working on just getting out of my own way and letting go of the need to measure my accomplishments or success as though it makes up who I am. It does not. So if you’re anxious about the things that are supposed to make you happy, you are not alone. And at least that’s something.

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Krypt Kicker – let’s all put our stress in a crypt and kick it!

Thanks for getting real with me for a while. Next time, I may have a happier post, or I may not. But I’m going to try and just be proud of myself that I did post, and not tell myself that I have a deadline for the next one.

May your knitting and hobbies feel magical and cure you of your ills! And when they don’t, forgive yourself. It’s ok.

Until next time Sisters and Brethren in yarn!

 

 

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